Answering Anything - Serious

I'd like to thank regular commenter Kia Cera for her interesting questions that I'm looking forward to answering. I'll be answering the two more serious questions today and the wonderful silly question tomorrow. Because I really want to address this first question and give it it's do.

"Something serious: What motivates you to spank in a punishment situation? (As a sub, I find this intriguing as it seems to be a lot to ask when a spanker could easily just ignore it or move on to someone else rather than takoing a risk by stepping up and trying to help someone address a problem.)"

There are several motivating factors that go into punishing someone. One of the main reasons is that if me and a submissive are in a situation where I can spank them, I feel morally obligated TO spank them. It's a contract, whether written down or unspoken. If I say I will spank someone when they do things that I will not allow, then I can't back down on my word. It sends a message that I am inconsistent. My wife (or any other submissives I take for a Discipline relationship) will have hard limits placed on them that they will not be allowed to cross, and if they do they will be getting a spanking they won't want to remember.

I won't lie that anger is a motivating factor. And this isn't the little "stop annoying me, you're aggravating me" kind of anger. I consider myself to have a high level of tolerance and don't get mad at little things. But when I have a situation where I have to spank as a punishment, I am going to be angry and I will WANT to make my submissive suffer for their crime. Not because I'm cruel or anything, but just there is a distance there that can't be solved by other means. If for example, I catch my wife smoking cigarettes or find out she's stolen something, I have a right to be angry and punish her if we've agreed to a DD relationship. She's putting herself in danger and acting foolish, and I will do anything to get her to see the error of her ways.

Which really is the big reason that I would spank someone as a punishment: my sincere desire to help them. Just because I want to be in a Domestic Discipline situation does not mean that I want to punish my wife. I would honestly prefer that I never have to, and if I do, I will make the spanking an experience she will not want to live through again. I am just there to provide enforcement for her, helping her to become the best person she can be, for the benefit of everyone around her. I only want what's best for her.

The last motivating factor is that it really feels good to be a Top in a Domestic Discipline situation. To have someone who trusts you, loves you, and needs you in such a powerful way is an intoxicating, enthralling experience. It's a natural high. It gives a Top a sense of self-worth and personal accomplishment, a chance to see his impact on his partner in such a personal, positive way. Even if I never have to spank as a punishment, just her knowing that I will if I have to, and being grateful for it at the end of the day, is motivation enough.

 "Something completely off-topic: What is the greatest compliment you have ever received?"

This I can actually answer pretty easily. While talking things over with one of my Team Leaders at work, I made a mention that I was going to take a few days off in January to recharge my batteries after the Holiday season. I love my job but Christmas just drains all the joy out of it, so I had gotten in a place where I hated coming to work.

Rebekah answered by hoping that I enjoyed my time off, but that it didn't last too long. "We say that all Team Members are replaceable, but really that isn't always the case."

Now I know I do a good job at my work. I show up on time, I'm polite and always willing to help people, and I do my work pretty efficiently most of the time. But hearing that I was such a valued and respected member of my Team, from someone who really had no reason to tell me that other than to make my day, was easily the best compliment I've ever gotten.

Please understand that I have had issues with my self-worth for a lifetime. Part of that stems from my biological father leaving my mother and never wanting me over. Another big part is that my Aspergers syndrome once led my Special Ed teacher at school to say that I would never function in a real world environment and would always be an outcast. Spending the last twelve years or so of my life in a revolving door of "friend zones" didn't exactly help me reach the conclusion that I was anything special either. When I couldn't get a job and slacked off in college which ended up costing me my loans (which I'm now paying for) and kept me from finishing my associate's degree, I was pretty much rock bottom from a self-esteem standpoint.

Getting my new job was the biggest blessing I could ask for. It gave me a reason to get up in the morning, a sense of purpose and something to strive to be excellent at. It wasn't always easy and I still have plenty to learn, but I think it's safe to say that my Team genuinely views me as excellent now.

And that's all the affirmation I've ever really needed.

Self-Discipline (And a Prayer Request)

Something I haven't mentioned lately is that I'm just starting my bi-annual attempt to quit drinking soda. To put perspective on this, I have been known to drink an entire twelve pack of Dr. Pepper if left to my own devices. The first week was okay, as Gatorade helps me cope with wanting sugar on my mouth. I know soon enough the caffeine headaches are going to kick in and I'm going to be Mr. Grumpy Pants for a few days before my body adjusts.

I had my first real test today as I passed the Pepsi One-Liters in my store. I was so, so tempted to buy one, to feel that fizz on my tongue and the relaxation of caffeine calming my nerves. I know in the grand scheme of things a caffeine addiction is hardly the worst thing in the world. But it matters to me because it's something that controls me. I have to control it, and not the other way around.

It's part of being self-disciplined.

Self-discipline is not something I've always been very good at. But as I've gradually realized that I identify as a DD Top, it's become very important to me. To me, you cannot be a Head of Household and be responsible for the discipline of your partner unless you are disciplined yourself. You cannot be a lazy, undisciplined Head of Household. It's just not okay. You are trying to be responsible for making a person's life better, and you need to lead by example.

And this isn't just a "Top" thing. I believe in the Bible's standard of a husband as someone who should be the spiritual leader of his family, and be accountable to God for it. Not because I don't think the woman I marry won't be capable, but it's a matter of principle. When two people come together with a common goal, it's a lot easier to accomplish than if only one is committed, or if you're competing against each other. So I have to take care of myself, physically, emotionally, spiritually.

Nobody's perfect of course. We all fall short of the glory of God, and all that jazz. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to be the very best person you can be. It doesn't excuse you from trying to self-improve. It makes for a better you, and it makes for a better relationship with the people you interact with. Especially your partner.

I've been taking small steps to improve myself over the last few weeks, and part of it has been this blog. Because the fact is, this blog makes me accountable to people, something I haven't had in a long time. I have to seriously think about who I am as a person, as a spanko, as a Christian. And that's important to me. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I'm being honest with myself.

So if you see me write little blurbs about what I am doing to structure my life more and create a better me, please bare with me. I'm making myself better, so that I can be the best me I can be. And so that when I meet this girl, she's going to meet a better me than I am today, something who's worthy of taking her by the hand and guiding her through our life together.

On a completely unrelated topic, I would greatly appreciate prayers for my younger brother, who will be going under the knife tomorrow for cranial surgery. We trust the doctors and are hopeful for the best, but it's a scary thing for all of us. So if you can spare a moment, just keep him in your thoughts. Thank you for your time, and God bless.

Love for Leah Kelley

Does anyone else like to read spanking fiction? I know I do!

Check out Leah Kelly's blogs here, where you can find links to her library of books based on Christian Domestic Discipline. Some are fun, some are educational, but I'm sure you'll find something that interests you.

http://leah-kelley.blogspot.com/

Bible Devotionals: A Chance to Bond as a Christian Spanking Couple

I think I can speak for the majority of Christian's when I say I could probably stand to read my Bible a little more often than I do. God's Word is a wonderful source of comfort and inspiration and if you know where to look, just spending a few minutes diving into the Word and communing with God can give you the strength you need to get through your day.

Of course, it's not always easy to get around to sitting down and reading the Bible. I'll spare you the reasons and let you take a theology class. Instead, I'm here to talk about how being in a spanking relationship can be a huge advantage when it comes to getting down to devotionals.

You've probably already found that devotionals are easier to do with your partner, as you have someone to keep you accountable and to discuss what you are reading. But the next time you do a devotional, add a spanking twist to it. Have the Submissive partner lay over your lap and read.

From here, the result tends to depend on your spanking style. If you're in a Domestic Discipline relationship, have the spankee read, and any fighting or giving up early results in a spanking. Or, if this is more applicable, make a rule that you can't start spanking until after your devotional is done. Whatever suits you best.

Spanking and Bible Devotionals are both very intimate experiences that allow couples to communicate and grow together. One is good, but put them together and you can have a wonderful time.

And trust me, after a few days to get into this habit, you'll wonder why you hadn't been doing it earlier.

Picture Perfect

For anyone who hasn't visited Christian Spanking Fellowship's Facebook page (which you can see and join
 here), I wanted to share this picture. Overall, CSF is not going to be an explicit website, as I understand that many of you who might be browsing this blog probably want to stay as far from pornographic images as possible. But I think this image does an excellent job of showing a real spanking relationship between two lovers without simply being "wank material".

Since your eyes are probably immediately drawn to the young lady getting spanked, take a close look at her facial expression and body position. Obviously she is not enjoying the burning sting that her man is causing her to feel, which means that the spanking is legitimately hurting and not just light foreplay (not that there's anything wrong with that in the slightest). But she is not angry or spiteful; she is submissive and remorseful, most likely a very sorry girl who knows she deserves a good spanking.

Perhaps the most interesting thing is that she is not depicted as struggling to escape her fate. While this may change as the spanking drags out (let's face it, her panties are on, she's not getting off that easy), at this moment, she is not fighting to escape her spanking, even though it hurts. This implies that she trusts the man spanking her and wants to be spanked, whether because she enjoys it or because she needs the cathartic experience of being punished.

As we look at the body language of the spanker, we see that he is holding the young lady in a close, very affectionate way, and not one that is overly restrictive to her movement. So not only does he trust her to stay still, but he is not forcing her to. We see her in her face, presumably scolding, but most definitely personally investing in the spanking and not simply being a stone cold mechanic. It is very clear that he cares about her deeply, even though he is roasting her bottom.

Obviously, the heart around the couple implies romance and love. Perhaps this is simple foreplay. For many, a good, sound spanking that leaves the Sub with a warm, red bottom is the best prelude to hot, romantic sex. Or perhaps the woman has done something wrong and is being punished, but it is clearly by a man who loves her dearly and only wants the best for her, who she trusts completely.

In my view, this is a perfect example of what spanking between partners should look like in the Christian home. We don't know the reason for it, but we can tell without a shadow of a doubt that they love and trust each other.

So however you go about your spanking, remember to love your partner with everything you have. Put them first, learn their needs and wants, communicate with them, trust them. Become incredibly intimate. This is what spanking is all about.

There Is No Right Way To Be A Spanko

Part of the reason I made this blog is in response to the website Christian Domestic Discipline, which is unfortunately the only major "faith-based" website devoted to spanking I've ever seen. To me, it's rather abhorrent that a website that is so utterly misogynistic and archaic in it's viewpoints is the "go to" website for any Christian who wants to learn more about their spanking desires without throwing themselves headfirst into a world that is confusing, sometimes overwhelming, and unfortunately too often hostile to the faith they hold dear.

While I AM a Christian and I AM seeking a Domestic Discipline relationship with my future wife, I want to make the clear distinction that separates what this blog promotes and what you may have read at that website.

The Bible does not promote Domestic Discipline as the Godly way to live a marriage. Under no circumstances should you, as a Christian spanko, feel morally obligated to discipline or submit to the discipline of your spouse. While this certainly the desired lifestyle for many people, it is not the ONLY lifestyle and is certainly not the "Biblically correct lifestyle."

Suppose you are a woman who wants to be spanked by your husband because you find it fun and sexually arousing, but not because you have been a "bad person" or are failing to submit to him. That is perfectly okay. You do not have to be disciplined if you don't want to do that. Be a spanko the way you want to be a spanko!

Maybe you are a male spanko who would rather be a bottom than a top, but CDD tells you that it's your responsibility to be the "Head of the Household" and take your woman in hand, because she is less than you. If you don't want to be the Top in your spanking relationship, that is okay! Find a strong, dominant woman who shares your values and loves to spank men. Be a spanko the way you want to be a spanko!

I could go on and on and on, providing examples, but I don't want to ramble about it for too long. The point is, you are your own unique person. God made you the way you are, and He wants you to discover who you are, and that includes your sexuality and your overall identity as someone who wants to be into the spanking scene. Do what feels right for you, and don't let anyone tell you what you SHOULD do. As long as you and your partner are happy and no one is being abused, your relationship is exactly what it needs to be.

Of course, this also includes people who do fit into the stereotypical Husband-Disiciplines-His-Wife scenario. Please understand I am not condemning this lifestyle choice. It is my preference. But that's the difference. It's what I want, not what I feel like I'm morally obligated to do. I want my wife to submit to my discipline because she wants to, not because a website that thinks that men are better than women says she should. And if my wife likes to be spanked, I don't want her to have to feel like she has to misbehave in order to get my attention. Because she certainly won't!

There is no right way to be a spanko....except to make you and your partner as happy as you can while doing it!

How God Made Me

This is my testimony about growing up as someone who was committed to God and obsessed with spankings. At first the two seemed to conflict with each other, but through my spiritual journey and introspective thought process, I'm come to realize that not only are these two passions not in conflict, but they are interwoven and make me who I am. I should not shun one or the other, but embrace them both.

First, a brief testimony about my faith. I was raised in a Christian Home in Kansas with fairly traditional morals and have always believed in God. My mother however, taught me to carefully analyze the Bible and what Christians were saying about certain topics, such as homosexuality and the need to be baptized in order to go to Heaven. In my pre-teen years I developed a chip on my shoulder for organized religion in general, but still believed in God and that he was good.

When I was fourteen I was led by a friend to develop a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. For the last ten years or so, my relationship with God has gone up and down as I tried to divine what the Lord really wanted for His children and what people have said that He wants for His children. I have also had to battle depression and loneliness, but by leaning on God I have managed to overcome these hurdles.

Ultimately, I have to be responsible for my own faith and my own personal relationship with God. For the last few years I have allowed certain outspoken members of my faith to speak for God to me, and have had trouble reconciling it with my view of God. When someone cannot find their own niche that lines up with what they know to be the true nature of God, they either become an island unto themselves, or reach out to like-minded people to create a fellowship.

I am tired of being an island, and this blog is as much about being open and accountable for my faith as it is about being open and accountable about my love and need for spanking.

Although I know I was spanked as a child, I have little memories of the events. My earliest spanking memories are from reading The Little House in the Big Woods, where Laura Ingalls Wilder recalls a birthday spanking given to her by her father. I also remember being enthralled by the occasionally love taps I would see on film. The idea of spanking a girl was simply something I wanted to do, though I could not explain why.

By middle school I realized that spanking was at least in some way a sexual desire, and since that was a convenient label I identified it as my kink. I wanted to spank girls because I'm attracted to butts. The natural curves of a woman simply inspire the desire to touch them, and a spanking provided a convenient excuse. I loved how you spank someone "because they are naughty", which is generally my approach to sex. And I loved the visuals: the vulnerability of a girl over a man's knee, the glow of a well-spanked bottom, the sheer adorableness of a young lady sobbing and rubbing her cheeks after a spanking.

Deep down, I hated the fact that I wanted to spank girls, because I knew it would hurt and it's not a comfortable thought for someone as loving and considerate as I try to be to want to cause someone pain. I remember feeling dirty and unclean about my desires. Sex was natural, God wants us to love our spouses and have sex and that was fine. But spanking? As much as I really, really wanted to spank a woman, I felt that it was sinful and should not be done.

When I could not deny my interests in spanking, I took to the internet to see if there was anyone else with my problem. I found that not only was I not alone, but there is an entire group of wonderful, supportive people who had written countless material about spanking. Why they liked spanking, stories about spanking, how they came to terms with their unusual sexuality. Most exciting was that I found that many women have a desire and a need to BE spanked, which for me was the most exciting revelation ever.

Perhaps the biggest realization for me was that spanking is not just about sex. For tops and bottoms alike, there is a deep, real need for spanking in their lives. It's an emotional and spiritual need that has to be kindled to in order for the person to be whole. When I realized this, being a spanko was something I stopped identified as being a kink and started taking as my identity. Being a Spankophile IS my sexuality, much like being gay or straight. It's not just a matter of mechanics: everything about the spanking narrative is intrinsic to who I am and how I relate to the people I romance.

Realizing the deep psychological need that submissives have to be cared for, disciplined, controlled and nurtured by those who spanked them allowed me to reconcile my self-loathing. If I could find a woman who loved and needed to be spanked, whether it was just for fun or as a real disciplinary relationship, then my desires to take her over my knee would hardly be sinful. Unusual and atypical for most marriages perhaps, but it would be fulfilling her needs as well as mine, which is what a husband should do.

Over my period of self-discovery, I had to come to terms with a few things. One was that I can identify as being a switch. Not only do I want to spank, but a large part of me wants to be spanked as well. I also came to realize that I had fantasies of spanking and especially being spanked by men. Exploring these different aspects of my being has been an interesting journey that was at times painful. But ultimately, the journey helped me to realize who I am and what I need to be happy in romance.

My name is Aaron, and I am a Christian Spanko that primarily identifies as a Top. The greatest fulfillment I can possibly have is to care for, nurture, protect, guide and love a young woman who needs and wants to be spanked by a loving man. Though I would never force a Domestic Discipline relationship on my wife, I have found that is it the relationship dynamic that I enjoy the most, that makes me whole. And at the core of that relationship is Godly principles of putting my wife first and taking care of her needs.

In the interest of being open, I will confess that I am a single man and a virgin. In fact, I have never even kissed a girl. I have also never spanked one. While that may be uncool for a twenty-three year old man to admit, the fact of the matter is, going and having sex for the sake of having sex just doesn't appeal to me. I don't care about getting laid. I am not looking for a hook-up, I am looking for a companion.

I won't lie. A lot of the motivation for me starting this blog and my facebook page is because I want to meet a girl who I am compatible with on a spiritual and sexual level. However, if I never do, that's okay too. Because as I've made Christian Fellowship Spanking and even in the course of writing this testimony, I've come to realize the truth behind why I did.

This is about coming to terms with my own identity. I am a Christian man who wants to be in a Domestic Discipline relationship with a woman who loves God as much as I do, and needs to be spanked as much as I need to spank. That may be a severely limiting label, but that's who I am.

That's how God made me.

Welcome to Christian Spanking Fellowship!

Before I get into what this blog is, let me first clarify what it is not:

1) This is NOT a blog about spanking children. I neither condemn nor condone this practice, but it will not be discussed beyond this initial post, and I ask anyone else to refrain from discussing it on the blog. Thank you for your understanding.

2) This is NOT a blog that promotes Christian Domestic Discipline as the ideal. While I personally am seeking a Domestic Discipline relationship and will discuss the subject at length in many posts, I will never imply that the only good spanking partnership is a husband disciplining his wife. Where's the fun in that? =)

My name is Aaron, and I've created this blog so that I can post my thoughts as both a Christian and a spanko. Growing up, I've found that it can be difficult to reconcile these two sides of me, as many outspoken and judgmental Christians view my lifestyle as perverted and ungodly. On the flip side, I have found it difficult to connect with some of my spanking friends because of my faith, which is very important to me.

I believe I am not the only one who has had this issues, so I have created Christian Spanking Fellowship to create an environment where people can talk about their love for God and their love for spanking without fear of being judged. For right now, this is a page on Facebook, and the blog is a supplement to that.

I classify myself as a Progressive Protestant. I believe in the Lord my God, and in Jesus Christ who saved me, and in the Holy Spirit working within me to do good. I believe that the Bible is the word of God but that is misinterpreted by foolish and malicious believers who miss the true point of the Bible.

I am a supporter of LGBT rights and the freedom of religion or not to have a religion. No person should be persecuted for any reason other than the quality of their character, which is measured in how they treat other people. I will never judge you or condemn you for having different beliefs than mine, I simply ask that you respect mine.

Overall, feel free to post on anything and ask me anything, but follow the Golden Rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated! Thank you very much and God bless.