I Was Bound To Discuss It

I'll start this post off by saying that yesterday I came across a book in my store that nearly made me cry.

How kinky is your chicken? How noosed is your goose?

One thing I wanted to make sure I did with this blog is not go on a rant about "50 Shades of Grey". I'm pretty sure we've all either read the book or have read posts complaining about how terrible it is and I don't want to be absolutely redundant. But I will say that the above parody book made my day. I like that somebody capitalized on the success in an absolutely hilarious manner.

It also got me thinking about bondage.

To me, one of the more annoying aspects of admitting I'm a spanko is that everyone naturally assumes I want to be tied up and spanked with a riding crop by a dominatrix. I mean....I do, but that's so far away from what I think about when I think about spanking that it's frustrating to explain that this sort of cliched kinkiness really isn't how I'm wired. I have an open sexual mind and am willing to try just about anything once, and if I enjoy it, maybe more than once. But....spanking and the rest of the trappings of BDSM have always been separate creatures in my mind.

Another thing I never understood is why bondage is a culturally acceptable kink but even the brief mention of giving your wife or girlfriend a serious spanking is met with gasps and head shakes. To me, bondage is far more abusive, controlling and misogynistic than spanking is. Spanking is an act I associate with love and nurturing, righting a wrong so that you can return your relationship to a healthy, happy state. Bondage is something I associate with helplessness and sexual slavery, which aren't bad in and of themselves, but I don't get the double standard at all really.

As a Top, I personally don't get a whole lot of enjoyment out of thinking of someone being so restricted. It takes away from the "childish discipline" tone that I usually fantasize about when thinking about spanking. I'd rather have my partner squirming and kicking at the start of a spanking and gradually submit to a place of staying still than to just be forced to stay still during a spanking. This isn't to say that I don't find women in the trappings of bondage a pleasurable sight, it's just different from what I like about spanking.

So overall, unless my partner is really into bondage and needs it to submit to a spanking, it's not something I would ever use as a discipline tool.

Of course, I'm a bit of a hypocrite, as the submissive side of me finds the idea of being tied up rather exhilarating. I have a natural aversion to handcuffs due to associating them with a rather painful memory, but the idea of rope, leather or cloth bindings around my wrists and ankles definitely appeals to me. It's fairly light bondage to be sure, but I'm okay with that. As I've said before, there's no wrong way to be a spanko, other than trying to define yourself into a niche you aren't really comfortable with because that's what spankos are theoretically "supposed" to be.

I guess my conclusive thought is just that in the line between spanking and sex, bondage is clearly more related to sex than it is to spanking. But that's just me.