Answering Anything - Serious

I'd like to thank regular commenter Kia Cera for her interesting questions that I'm looking forward to answering. I'll be answering the two more serious questions today and the wonderful silly question tomorrow. Because I really want to address this first question and give it it's do.

"Something serious: What motivates you to spank in a punishment situation? (As a sub, I find this intriguing as it seems to be a lot to ask when a spanker could easily just ignore it or move on to someone else rather than takoing a risk by stepping up and trying to help someone address a problem.)"

There are several motivating factors that go into punishing someone. One of the main reasons is that if me and a submissive are in a situation where I can spank them, I feel morally obligated TO spank them. It's a contract, whether written down or unspoken. If I say I will spank someone when they do things that I will not allow, then I can't back down on my word. It sends a message that I am inconsistent. My wife (or any other submissives I take for a Discipline relationship) will have hard limits placed on them that they will not be allowed to cross, and if they do they will be getting a spanking they won't want to remember.

I won't lie that anger is a motivating factor. And this isn't the little "stop annoying me, you're aggravating me" kind of anger. I consider myself to have a high level of tolerance and don't get mad at little things. But when I have a situation where I have to spank as a punishment, I am going to be angry and I will WANT to make my submissive suffer for their crime. Not because I'm cruel or anything, but just there is a distance there that can't be solved by other means. If for example, I catch my wife smoking cigarettes or find out she's stolen something, I have a right to be angry and punish her if we've agreed to a DD relationship. She's putting herself in danger and acting foolish, and I will do anything to get her to see the error of her ways.

Which really is the big reason that I would spank someone as a punishment: my sincere desire to help them. Just because I want to be in a Domestic Discipline situation does not mean that I want to punish my wife. I would honestly prefer that I never have to, and if I do, I will make the spanking an experience she will not want to live through again. I am just there to provide enforcement for her, helping her to become the best person she can be, for the benefit of everyone around her. I only want what's best for her.

The last motivating factor is that it really feels good to be a Top in a Domestic Discipline situation. To have someone who trusts you, loves you, and needs you in such a powerful way is an intoxicating, enthralling experience. It's a natural high. It gives a Top a sense of self-worth and personal accomplishment, a chance to see his impact on his partner in such a personal, positive way. Even if I never have to spank as a punishment, just her knowing that I will if I have to, and being grateful for it at the end of the day, is motivation enough.

 "Something completely off-topic: What is the greatest compliment you have ever received?"

This I can actually answer pretty easily. While talking things over with one of my Team Leaders at work, I made a mention that I was going to take a few days off in January to recharge my batteries after the Holiday season. I love my job but Christmas just drains all the joy out of it, so I had gotten in a place where I hated coming to work.

Rebekah answered by hoping that I enjoyed my time off, but that it didn't last too long. "We say that all Team Members are replaceable, but really that isn't always the case."

Now I know I do a good job at my work. I show up on time, I'm polite and always willing to help people, and I do my work pretty efficiently most of the time. But hearing that I was such a valued and respected member of my Team, from someone who really had no reason to tell me that other than to make my day, was easily the best compliment I've ever gotten.

Please understand that I have had issues with my self-worth for a lifetime. Part of that stems from my biological father leaving my mother and never wanting me over. Another big part is that my Aspergers syndrome once led my Special Ed teacher at school to say that I would never function in a real world environment and would always be an outcast. Spending the last twelve years or so of my life in a revolving door of "friend zones" didn't exactly help me reach the conclusion that I was anything special either. When I couldn't get a job and slacked off in college which ended up costing me my loans (which I'm now paying for) and kept me from finishing my associate's degree, I was pretty much rock bottom from a self-esteem standpoint.

Getting my new job was the biggest blessing I could ask for. It gave me a reason to get up in the morning, a sense of purpose and something to strive to be excellent at. It wasn't always easy and I still have plenty to learn, but I think it's safe to say that my Team genuinely views me as excellent now.

And that's all the affirmation I've ever really needed.