Spank Goggles

Confession time: I'm a huge nerd when it comes to anything action packed and full of character. I have a rather long list of favorites. James Bond, Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Legend of Zelda. But my comfort area is comic books and superheroes. As someone who doesn't have a lot of vices, most of my spare money is spent on comics. I could make a rather large list of characters I religiously follow, but suffice to say that if it's a major hero and he's not Spider-Man, I buy at least one of their comics.

If you don't really live the geek lifestyle, one thing you need to understand about fans is that we all, to some degree or another, participate in "shipping". As in relation-shipping. Typically, it's about rooting for a particular couple to get together and have a successful romance. If it sounds weird, just remember that the people who write the books and movies and TV series you watch WANT you to "ship" the characters, to be emotionally invested in their romance. It's just that a lot of us tend to think that the characters should be partnered with other characters and not the ones the writers intend.

Or, put in the layman's terms: Team Edward vs. Team Jacob. Personally, I'm on Team Edward Dates Jacob because Bella Swan is a terrible character and it would be more interesting if the werewolf and vampire had to cope with their homosexuality and the fact that their two species hate each other. But I digress....

Anyway, whenever fans watch shows or movies or read books deliberately looking for evidence that a particular pairing would work, it's called "Wearing your Shipping Goggles". So, if I read Superman and whine about how he's currently dating Wonder Woman and not Lois Lane, it's because I've got my shipping goggles on. I'm emotionally invested in Clark and Lois (and Diana as a separate character) and don't want things to get in the way of that.

But the reality is, I don't wear my shipping goggles too much. Mostly I'm wearing my Spank Goggles. Whenever a watch any show and a character is bratting or acting especially Toppy, my spank goggles go on. Every great once in a while, the spankings actually happen (like on Weeds). But most of the time they are just playing in my head as a separate scene that I may write at a later date.

Yes, I write fanfiction sometimes. Spank me.

Going back to Superman, I've just finished reading the storyline "H'El on Earth", the first major crossover of the Superman, Superboy and Supergirl comics since DC relaunched their franchise in late 2011. Despite the cheesy name, it's been a blast seeing these characters meet for the first time (again) and see how their vastly different life experiences affect their motivation when H'El comes to Earth and plans to absorb the energy of the sun to power a time machine so that he can save Krypton from ever exploding.

Kara Zor El, better known to everyone else as Supergirl, has only recently awoken on Earth and still vividly remembers growing up on Krypton with her family, and would do anything to be back with them. So when H'El offers her to take part in his plan (while lying about the effects his machine will have on the people of Earth), she takes him up on her offer. You're sad for her, but you can totally understand her feelings and motivations.

But the most prevalent thought I had during all this?

If you guessed, "Superman totally needs to give Kara a good spanking when this is all said and done!" you guessed correctly.

My Spank Goggles are probably never off, which can create some awkward moments if I'm not careful. Anyone else wearing their spectacles on a daily basis?