There are several negatives about growing up in a conservative Christian family in the Bible Belt. While my parents were hardly prudes, my grandparents (on my mother's side, who I spent most of my time growing up with) are very traditional and too set in their ways to see things differently. It's a minor fault at worst, and I love them dearly. But it can be frustrating would for me when I hear them condemn people for being gay or be paranoid about our "Muslim President" (he isn't, but a person's faith or lack thereof is hardly grounds to be a good political executive). For someone who is as progressive and inclusive as I try to be, it becomes incredibly difficult to bite my tongue. I do so by reminding myself that they won't be here forever, and at this point it's not worth ruining my relationship with them to risk helping them see my side of things.
That was probably a little more serious of an introduction for this post than I intended it to be.
However, there is certainly one benefit of growing up in a conservative Christian family if you're say, a teenage spanko who knows there's no way you're going to smuggle porn into the house because you're a terrible liar. Not that I know anyone like that.... (=0
My grandparents have an enormous bookshelf downstairs that is full to overflowing. When I was very young, I spent my time pouring over the encyclopedias looking up information on as many different animals as I could, especially whales and big cats. But when I got older, the most interesting books were the ones centered about Christian parenting. And there were a lot.
I didn't read the books because I was learning how to be a good parent, although I'm sure I did pick up a few things about love and patience along the way. But it was mostly because a few decades ago, not so far away, it wasn't nearly as controversial for parenting experts to endorse spankings. And boy did these old men endorse them. In fact, there were often entire chapters devoted to the subject. Obviously, their intended purpose is not something I want to discuss on this blog. But you can imagine what it was like for a young man like me to have such vivid descriptions of my interest defined in the books. I'm sure my grandparents would be mortified to know that their parenting books did more to kindle my sexuality than the typical reading material for guys my age.
As I look back on this, I realize the books probably instilled a love of Father/Daughter role play in me. I am a shameless online role player, an interest that led me to meeting some of my dearest friends, spanko or not. And while some of our RP is romance, most of my platonic gal pals are looking for an outlet to live out their discipline fantasies. It usually starts with a school setting as I think we're squeamish about admitting we want to do the parent/children thing in our play. But it always ends up as that. I honestly have to admit that it's lovely to play like that because it actually separates spanking from sex, allowing me to focus on the former without obsessing over the later.
I wouldn't give a whole lot of the spanking advice in those books to my friends for any purpose, but there was one line that always stuck with me, and I think came a long way in defining what exactly I desire in my spanking relationships.
"A spanking is an event."
How true is that? There is a world of difference between the occasional swat or two (which are always nice) and a real, honest to goodness spanking. A spanking requires you to make time and a place to spend quality, very personal time with the person getting spanked. For the Submissive, it's something that's going to put them through a wide range of emotions and a lot of pain, something to remember for a long time. There is a certain ritual to even the most random, spur of the moment spankings. Putting them in position, the scolding, the removal of clothing, perhaps a time out in the corner. And most importantly, the tight cuddling and soft-spoken words of love spoken afterwards.
I suppose a spanking doesn't have to be an event. I'm sure there are thousands of people who read Fifty Shades of Grey and will probably never do more than a few light smacks before sex. There's nothing wrong with that, obviously. But I think most of us spankos would have very empty lives if spankings weren't "events". We want them to be well worth remembering
....I think I had a goal or point in mind when I decided to write this post, but it's probably just some rambling. All I know is, while many of us find our definition of spanking in a dictionary as a kid, I found it in those dozens of Christian parenting books that so vividly described the process.
So yeah, thank you James Dobson. You helped create at least one sexual deviant, and I'm eternally in your gratitude. /sarcasm
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