Clarifying Rule #6

I just wanted to say a couple of things about a recent post I made, the Top 10 Tips for Spanking Fiction Writers. I've received a couple of negative comments about #6, which condones the writing of stories involving the spanking of minors.

I totally understand the viewpoint of a few readers that found this appalling or upsetting, and I respect their right to have those views and apologize for offending any of you. I probably should have thought over the comment a little more before posting it.

However, to play devil's advocate, I personally don't think there's anything wrong with writing spanking fiction that involves minors, nor do I think it causes anyone to be motivated to hurt children anymore than watching a violent movie encourages you to go shoot someone. Perhaps part of the reason I can sympathize with this point of view is that I am still fairly young and can remember writing stories as a teen where teenagers were spanked by their parents for perceived wrong doing. And I think the vast majority of these stories are written more from the standpoint of someone who wishes they had been spanked as a teen rather than someone who wants to spank teens.

My purpose of the post was to give some insight and advice on what the boundaries of this should be. Because I have read stories involving minors that offend me, and I am a fairly laid back person on the matter. My intent with the rule was to discourage the written abuse of children, as opposed to encouraging it. I realize standards for what is and is not abuse of children are hardly universal.

So basically, my intentions were good, but perhaps I was speaking to the wrong audience and/or was not very effective in communicating my meaning.

To reiterate something I said in my original post, Christian Spanking Fellowship is not a blog about the spanking of children and I did not wish to discuss the subject in the slightest. Because I wasn't as strict with this rule as I probably should have been, I left the door open for this subject.

At any rate, rest assured that this will be the last time the subject is discussed on this blog, whether the children are real or fictional.

God bless, and KCATOS!

Rolling Up and Walking Tall

I think we all have little subconscious habits that we don't even notice in our day to day lives. I know I do, and every once in a while I actually notice them. This week at work, I wore a long-sleeved dress shirt to compensate for the cold weather in my area. I wasn't at work an hour before I had rolled up my sleeves to just above my elbows. I don't think that's an uncommon thing; sleeves get in the way when you need to do work. What caught me off guard was that as soon as I rolled up my sleeves, the entire way I carried myself changed as well.

Normally, I tend to slump while walking and wear my "thinking face" (which everyone seems to confuse with an angry face) when I'm at work. A lot of that is just general tiredness. I get physically tired, mentally tired and I just get to a point where I don't care about my physical presentation. You'd never be able to tell that THAT Aaron is actually pretty color coordinated and likes to have nice clothes.

But when I roll up my sleeves, everything changes. My back straightens, my head goes up, I flex my shoulders, I take longer strides, and I have a huge smile on my face the entire time. I have more self confidence and actually feel like a sexy beast, baby! (TM Chris Jericho)

This is something I like to refer to as "Walking Tall". I don't always Walk Tall, but when I am, it's a good day. Usually it means I'm proud of something I did or that I'm thinking about spanking someone who deserves it. But it turns our, rolling up my sleeves has that effect on me. Who knew?

Maybe it's just because I really do love my forearms and especially my hands. I struggle with my self image sometimes, but my hands are just pieces of art. Maybe that's because I'm just naturally attracted to hands, but I really do love them. I feel empowered and attractive when my best feature is showcased.

Of course, rolling up a sleeve is a great thing to do just before a spanking to set the more spankee on edge. So maybe it's just all connected in my brain.

Keep Calm and Think of Spanking! I know I can't seem to stop....

Another Blog You Should Be Reading...

 I just want to give a quick shout out to Hermione's Heart, which is a blog I've been following off and on for years and regularly since I've been writing my own blog. Hermione is one of the more humorous bloggers I've seen, with her Wednesday Wins and Friday Fails always managing to brighten up my week. If you aren't following her already, you need to be!

This is also my public "Thank you," to Hermione for sharing my blog post and hopefully expanding my audience a little bit. God bless.

Sunday Post: Which Do You Prefer?

Something you or may not have inferred from my blogs to this point is that I am a huge fan of movies. I love cinema. I love all the different ways that film makers and actors and visual effects teams work together to create an art that really gets taken for granted in today's society. I try to watch a new movie at least once a week, whether it's a new release or some classic film that I haven't seen before (finally knocked "Pulp Fiction" of the bucket list last week). One of this week's movies was "Life of Pi", the 2013 Oscar winner for Visual Effects and Directing, as well as a nominee for best picture.

I immediately regretted not seeing this in the movie theater, as the visual effects were nothing short of astounding. It was very much like seeing "Avatar" for the first time, I could not believe what my eyes were seeing on my screen, and it would have been wonderful to see it in theaters as it was meant to be seen.

But why am I discussing it on this blog?

In short, my review of the film is: "Come for the visual effects, stay for the religious discussion."

The main character of the story, a boy named Piscine who shortens his name to Pi to avoid the obvious joke from school bullies, is a man of three faiths. Despite his father's belief that "religion is darkness", Pi inherits the traditions of Hinduism from his mother, then later learns to love and form a relationship with God through Christ. He then learns how to to devote himself to prayer by learning from Muslims. It is a fascinating character trait, as most people I know prefer to have one religion or none at all.

The journey that Pi relates is almost impossible to believe, and the man who asked him to tell it was told the story would make him believe in God. While the bulk of the movie is dedicated to the fantastic story of how Pi survives on the pacific ocean on a boat with an adult Bengal Tiger, there is also a scene at the end where he convincingly tells a more plausible (but far darker) version of his journey in order to please people who cannot believe the more grandiose one.

All day I have been asking myself, "Which version of the story is what really happened in the world of this movie?" It took me a while to realize that this isn't the point of the movie.

Pi asks the man interviewing him, "Which story do your prefer?"

Not "Which do you believe?" but "Which do you prefer?" I find that to be a fascinating question. Given the choice between a believable but tragic and heartbreaking story that cannot be proven and a grandiose, farfetched but beautiful story full of meaning that can also not be proven.....what do you really prefer?

It is interesting to me that a movie that spends so much of it's time discussing religion adamantly refuses to take a side. It condemns faith, it condones it, it wonders at the insanity of it and revels in the peace and beauty of it. Is the movie trying to promote all religions as true, or only one? Is it message that you can't mix faiths and have it work, or that you must mix faiths in order to have it be complete? Maybe it's simply saying that it doesn't matter what faith you have, so long as you have it. Or is it's message that the cold, hard truth is that no matter how beautiful your faith, it's ultimately a lie?

Or perhaps.....it's just asking you what you prefer.

For me, I have to agree with the man who was looking for a story that would make him believe in God.

The one with the Tiger is a much better story.

The More the Merrier?

I'm not a fan of the show "Big Bang Theory" at all really. There are several reasons, but I don't want to get into them because I know there are a lot of fans of the show and I don't feel like starting a debate. Because it is so popular and is seemingly always on TV though, I've seen quite a bit of the show in the break room of my store.

Last night it turned out to be "that" episode. The one where Sheldon spanks his girlfriend, which I had heard about but not yet seen. To my complete surprise, it was actually a clever and well-written spanking scene that completely suited the two characters involved. I wish more shows had spanking scenes as good as that, preferably with characters I actually enjoy instead of ones I want to punch in the face.

I am glad I was alone in the break room for this though. While I don't mind being open about what I like to most people, I don't exactly want to be outed by accident. There are some people I work with that I can just tell don't need to know that about me if our relationship is going to continue to be relatively civil.

As I worked the rest of the night, the most prominent thought in my mind was "What would it be like to have my spanking kink exposed in public?" which gradually turned into "Would I ever like to spank or be spanked in a public setting?"

The answer is a definite yes. I would love to be involved in a public spanking. It would be extremely humiliating for the spankee and thus more exciting for both parties. I just don't think I'd have the nerve to actually go through with it if I didn't know the people involved (or even if they were some people I did know). Not to mention the slight chance of police getting involved...

However, one thing I think I would like to do if my partner is okay with it is invite a third party to witness a spanking. Obviously it would have to be someone we both know and trust who has either a well-developed interest in spanking or at least a burgeoning curiosity. I don't know how most people about this, but I know that if it was a friend it would be comfortable and even exhilarating to have an audience.

Actually, now that I think about it, I enjoy pretty much any spanking situation with three or four people. Whether it's two Tops and a Sub, two Subs and a Top, or any other combination. And from either side really. I think it would be a blast to be spanked as a couple by a friend of ours.

So that's just what's been rolling through my head the last twenty-four hours. Anyone have any thoughts, stories, advice, questions, etc? Feel free to share them!

Keep Calm and Think of Spanking!

Ten Tips For Spanking Fiction Writers

I've been preparing to write some new stories for this blog, as it is something I really enjoy doing and hopefully I can provide some entertainment and insight through them. While I do write other things that don't involve spanking, I've always been drawn to what I call "The Spanking Narrative". It's that process of getting in trouble, the rift in a relationship, paying a fair price for your crime, mending the relationship and learning your lesson. Sometimes this narrative process even turns up in my stories that have nothing to do with spanking!

Anyway, I wanted to post some tips for my reference and for anyone else who writes or wants to write spanking fiction. These are all things I've learned from making these mistakes in the past and I hope they prove helpful.

1. Do not repetitiously use onomatopoeia. Nothing is more boring than reading "SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!" "OW! OW! OW!"

2. Remove clothing slowly and change implements frequently. Spanking is a monotonous activity, so the more things you have to write about the longer you can keep a spanking going.

3. Experiment with different locations, positions, time periods and even genre. Variety is the spice of life, and that applies to spanking fiction as well. The more original your setting is, the more chance you have of catching your audience's attention.

4. Always have a good reason for a spanking to happen. Even if your spanking is the fun, happy and sexy kind, make sure the one getting spanked earns it. Getting in trouble is a vital part of spanking play.

5. If you are writing a story with multiple chapters, don't have a spanking every chapter. Droughts between spankings allow a reader to take a breath, invest in the characters and whet their appetite for the next spanking to occur.

6. It is perfectly acceptable to write spanking fics where the spankees in question are minors. Please keep in mind the boundaries of good taste while doing so (in general, sex is to be avoided at all costs), and be mindful that the younger a child is the less severe their spankings should be.

7. Focus on the emotional journey your characters take over the course of a spanking, rather than the physical action. What is their usual emotional state? How does that change leading up, during, and after the spanking? The emotional ride creates an attachment to the characters that will last much longer than the memory of how they were spanked.

8. Do not be afraid to inject lots of humor into your spanking stories.

9. If you are not using your own original characters (fan fiction), be sure to get a firm grasp on the character so that you can write them "in character". Nothing is more repulsive in fan fiction than a character who acts completely different from they originally are.

10. If you are using your own original characters, make sure they have character. Give them unique personalities, dreams and goals, motivations for why they do things they do. Memorable characters are the key to any good story, and spanking fiction is no exception.

Keep Calm and Think of Spanking!

I Was Bound To Discuss It

I'll start this post off by saying that yesterday I came across a book in my store that nearly made me cry.

How kinky is your chicken? How noosed is your goose?

One thing I wanted to make sure I did with this blog is not go on a rant about "50 Shades of Grey". I'm pretty sure we've all either read the book or have read posts complaining about how terrible it is and I don't want to be absolutely redundant. But I will say that the above parody book made my day. I like that somebody capitalized on the success in an absolutely hilarious manner.

It also got me thinking about bondage.

To me, one of the more annoying aspects of admitting I'm a spanko is that everyone naturally assumes I want to be tied up and spanked with a riding crop by a dominatrix. I mean....I do, but that's so far away from what I think about when I think about spanking that it's frustrating to explain that this sort of cliched kinkiness really isn't how I'm wired. I have an open sexual mind and am willing to try just about anything once, and if I enjoy it, maybe more than once. But....spanking and the rest of the trappings of BDSM have always been separate creatures in my mind.

Another thing I never understood is why bondage is a culturally acceptable kink but even the brief mention of giving your wife or girlfriend a serious spanking is met with gasps and head shakes. To me, bondage is far more abusive, controlling and misogynistic than spanking is. Spanking is an act I associate with love and nurturing, righting a wrong so that you can return your relationship to a healthy, happy state. Bondage is something I associate with helplessness and sexual slavery, which aren't bad in and of themselves, but I don't get the double standard at all really.

As a Top, I personally don't get a whole lot of enjoyment out of thinking of someone being so restricted. It takes away from the "childish discipline" tone that I usually fantasize about when thinking about spanking. I'd rather have my partner squirming and kicking at the start of a spanking and gradually submit to a place of staying still than to just be forced to stay still during a spanking. This isn't to say that I don't find women in the trappings of bondage a pleasurable sight, it's just different from what I like about spanking.

So overall, unless my partner is really into bondage and needs it to submit to a spanking, it's not something I would ever use as a discipline tool.

Of course, I'm a bit of a hypocrite, as the submissive side of me finds the idea of being tied up rather exhilarating. I have a natural aversion to handcuffs due to associating them with a rather painful memory, but the idea of rope, leather or cloth bindings around my wrists and ankles definitely appeals to me. It's fairly light bondage to be sure, but I'm okay with that. As I've said before, there's no wrong way to be a spanko, other than trying to define yourself into a niche you aren't really comfortable with because that's what spankos are theoretically "supposed" to be.

I guess my conclusive thought is just that in the line between spanking and sex, bondage is clearly more related to sex than it is to spanking. But that's just me.

Spanakopita?

Working as a cashier, I occasionally come across some rather hilarious situations involving my guests. Most often these have absolutely nothing to do with spanking, but every once in a while, I get a goldmine.

A pizza platter that I've been eying for months for it's perfect paddle shape went on clearance a couple of weeks ago, and yesterday a woman bought it and went through my lane. It was all I could do not to chuckle. I commented on what a nice pizza platter it was, and her response was, "Oh I thought it was...

*notable silence*

"...a cutting board."

I'm sure if you get a close look at our lips, you probably would have seen us both mouthing the word "paddle". I sure hope that lady is having as much with that "cutting board" as I was planning to have.

A few hours later, a guest come through with lots of groceries, most of which I didn't give a second glance. But one frozen spinach-covered pastry caught my attention and nearly gave me a deer in the headlights look.

Spanakopita.

Spanakopita? This is really a thing?

On my break, I had to look for this and make sure I wasn't seeing things. But yes. There really is a food called spanakopita.

I'm sure there's some foreigner in another country who has completely innocent reasons for naming this food this name. But I mean seriously....spanakopita. Heck, I can barely type the word once without writing "spankopita".

It's now become one of my favorite words. If I ever have a spanking party, I know what I'm gonna be serving.

The Submissive Writer

Hope everyone had a spectacular Easter weekend while I was off with my family. Unfortunately I had so much fun on Sunday that I forgot to get on here and post.

Please forgive me as I get into the swing of blogging on a regular basis. My goal is to be posting things on a daily basis as much as I can, but that is going to take some self-discipline on my part. All part of a learning process.

I've talked about how I role play with people before, which has been an interesting experience as I've had quite a few partners over the last few years. Almost all of the time, I have been the Top in our play, as my partners are overall very submissive and I have plenty of fun being the spanker.

But every once in a while, things don't fit into the norm. One of my best friends in the world was an experienced role player who identifies primarily as a switch, especially in RP. As someone who occasionally likes to play the Sub in a relationship, I was delighted by this. So we went about creating a universe primarily based on X-Men: Evolution, a cartoon we both fell in love with during our childhood (and one of the best cartoons to watch with your Spank Goggles on). We took several characters each, some Subby, some Toppy, and some that just fell somewhere in the middle.

The last year has been an interesting journey for us as players, as we've gradually come to realize that we just enjoy things more when she is the Top and I am the Sub.

For someone who has gotten farther and farther away from being a Switch in the last few years, that's a bit of a surprise. But a very happy one. And the truth is, while I may not be as Submissive in real life, playing the spankee in online RP is a very gratifying and almost natural thing for me.

I've written quite a few spanking stories, and I've found that the narrative tends to be stronger when written from the perspective of the one getting in trouble. Someone getting spanked has a larger emotional range that they can feel in a story than someone doing the spanking, so it's freeing to have more room to have a character feel one way or another during my play.

I think that's really the thing I've realized about this particular friend of mine. It's not play so much anymore, but we are writing stories together, and we gravitate more to writing these specific roles as they play to our specific strengths.

Or maybe I'm just gradually reverting back into the role of being in a full-time Switch. Who knows?

The other thing I wanted to do with this post is ask a question. If any of you are loyal readers, would you like me to post stories on a regular basis? These stories will be spanking related and not deal with explicit sex, though they will often be romantic in nature. I'm even willing to take requests, within reason.

Easter Bunnies

Happy Easter weekend folks!

While today is not exactly my favorite day (it's one of the busiest of the year in my store, so I'm not exactly looking forward to going in), Easter is my personal favorite holiday, so I tend to enjoy this time of year more than most. The religious aspects of the holiday definitely dominate my love for Easter, but I'll get more into that tomorrow. I enjoy getting together with my extended family for dinner and helping the multitude of children we have enjoy their Easter egg hunts. Especially my two-year old niece, who is still completely enamored with the pretty eggs.

I never really was a fun of the Easter Bunny growing up. Santa Claus lore was interesting and fun to watch on Christmas specials, even if he wasn't believable. But the Easter Bunny? What the heck is so cool about an overgrown bunny that hides eggs? Where does he get the eggs anyway? Does he have an army of chickens the way Santa has elves? It was all inconceivably dumb to me.

Eventually, I turned around on this whole Easter Bunny nonsense though. Why?

Ah, the internet is such a wonderful thing...

I have no idea who originally decided that bunny costumes are sexy. Did it start with Playboy? They've certainly managed to make bow-tied rabbits a sex symbol. What I do know is that for some bizarre reason, the basic get up just works.And now all I want is the Easter Bunny to pay me a visit...

Maybe it's just the combination of classy and cute, silly and sexy working all at once. Or maybe it is just word association. It would make sense for men to be attracted to bunny costumes just because it makes us think of Playboy, I suppose.

Though I suspect it might have something to do with this:

Yeah, I'm gonna say that's probably it. Anything that call attention to a woman's butt is good in my book. And look! It's perfectly placed, still leaving her open for a good spanking.

I mentioned in my spring break post that I'm a big fan of switching up costumes to spice up your spanking life, and especially doing holiday themed play. Costumes often help change the mood of a spanking, creating a sense of fun that might not have been there if your play has gotten too routine. It's a great opportunity for role play, to explore some fantasies you may not have known you had.

I'm personally a big fan of having to chase the poor girl who's about to get spanked. It adds an extra level of fun to sexy spankings. Doesn't it make sense for a quick little bunny to try and outrun her spanker before she eventually gets caught?

Think Easter Egg Hunts are just for kids? Think again. Create one for your partner by leaving an egg with an attached note at the front door, and leave clues to find all the eggs in your house. Have each one give him more of a hint as to what you have planned. Have the last one displayed with your favorite implement, directing him to the bedroom, where you'll have been eagerly anticipating his arrival in your sexy Easter Bunny suit. By the time he's found the eggs and gotten to your room, you'll both be ready for it.

I'm sure there are numerous Easter-themed spanking ideas that people have come up with over the years. If you haven't given it any thought before, try and see what you can come up with. Who knows? Maybe Easter will turn into one of your favorite holidays too.

Answering Anything - Silly

And now for the other half of answering the Ask Me Anything, and oh what a doozy this one is. Especially for one who is the complete nerd that I am. Also from Kia Cera:

"Something fun: What fictional character would you most like to spank (or be spanked by) and why?"

Well why can't I answer both?

Which fictional character would I most like to spank? Hmmm....I suppose this depends on the situation. Am I spanking them for my personal enjoyment or because I really think this character needs a good spanking?

For pure sex appeal, it's a no contest:

Now, this isn't because I particularly enjoy Padme Amidala's character. Truth be told I hate Episodes I and II and generally don't enjoy her performance in Revenge of the Sith very much either. But come on....it's a teenage Natalie Portman! Yes please!

Now, which character do I most want to spank because I think they need to be punished? Well, that's a toss up between two very similar characters.

I adore Tom Hiddleston's Loki, and of my numerous man crushes, he's the only one that I've fantasized about topping. Loki is an absolute brat of a villain. Unlike a lot of comic book villains, Loki is not simply trying to take over the world and torment his brother Thor simply to build his ego. He may be a full-tilt diva, but any fan of the character will tell you that all of Loki's motivation for greatness comes from wanting acceptance from his father Odin and to be an equal with his brother. A quote from The Avengers where The Nameless sums up Loki's desire to rule the Earth works well here.

"Your ambition is little, and full of childish need."

I'd like to think that a long, serious spanking for all his crimes followed by all the loving and affirming cuddling that happens after would do a lot to cure Loki's world-altering temper tantrums. But he'd still be cheeky, and thank Asgard for that.

And the other one:

If you're not familiar with the show Avatar: The Last Airbender (or only familiar with it through the crime against cinema that is M Night Shaymalan's "The Last Airbender") this is Princess Azula, Princess of the Fire Nation and the scariest fourteen year old you will ever see. And also a source of frustration as I've gotten older, because the farther away you get from your teen years the more you realize it's not okay for a girl this age to be as unintentionally sexy as Azula is. A lot of that is Grey DeLisle's voice...*shudders* but I digress.

Much like Loki, Azula has serious parental issues. She believes that her mother saw her as a monster, and while she more than lives up to that assessment throughout the series, it still hurts her. Even sadder, she slowly realizes that all of her father's love and praise is simply manipulation, using her talents for his means, and that he doesn't care about her. Watching Azula's mind slowly unravel in the series finale is out of the most unsettling and heartbreaking experiences I've ever had as a fan, and you can't but pity her.

The official canon ending is that Azula spends the rest of her days in a mental hospital, but I for one have always imagined that she reunites with her mother, and spankings and hugs ensue. Cause boy does this girl EVER need one.

Now, who do I do most WANT to be spanked by? Hoo boy. Remember when I mentioned my man crushes? Most of them are celebrities that I really, really want to be spanked by. Aside from two that you'll see right here, Hugh Jackman and Chris Hemsworth are other big man crushes. But ultimately, it comes down to two guys.

Raiders of the Lost Ark is part of what I consider the "Holy Trinity" of Popcorn Films, the others being the original Star Wars and Back to the Future. So it's no real surprise that Harrison Ford was one of those manly action heroes that I gravitated to when I was younger. And while Han Solo is a great character in his own right, Indiana Jones is Harrison at his best. The facial hair, the scruffy hat, the sense that he handles everything through willpower and determination rather than dumb luck. Indy's just better.

You can really boil down the roots of my desire to be spanked by an older, intimidating but ultimately good man due to my Daddy Issues. That initial earning for a man in my life is still very powerful, and as I've gotten older I've realized it's okay to sexualize men. While I'm definitely more attracted to women, I can admit to being just a little bit bisexual. Especially for a guy like this.

But Indy's more of the "Father Figure" type and more representative of the type of man I'd want to spank me in a platonic relationship. As long as he leaves that bullwhip at home.

But the other man here? Total sex fantasy.

 

*drools*

James Bond = Good. Daniel Craig = Better. Daniel Craig AS James Bond?

Oh Yes Sir, please tie me up, spank me, ravish me and do all kinds of terrible things to me.

I mean seriously. Even TOTALLY straight guys want to be dominated by 007. And I'm only about 92% straight.

I probably wouldn't leave my wife for Daniel Craig, but I'd probably cry about missing the opportunity for a minute.

*takes a few deep breaths*

Okay. I'm good now. What was I talking about? Oh yes. Fictional characters I want to be spanked by. In spite of those last two posts, the answer really is pretty simple for me. I've been in love with this character for the last year and a half. Her comic is almost always one of Top Five of any given month. She's a warrior, she's sweet and kind and motherly, she's sexy, she's strong, really everything I love and am attracted to in women. And I would not even hesitate to sub for her. She even comes with the perfect bondage tool.

 

Yep. Princess Diana of the Amazons, more commonly known to everyone as Wonder Woman.

If you know anything about the character's history, it's really no surprise that anyone who's remotely into femdom would find Wonder Woman appealing. Her creator, William Moulton Marston, was a very submissive man attracted to powerful women, very much in the BDSM scene of his day. Diana's iconic Lasso of Truth originally gave the user complete control over anyone bound by it, forcing them to totally obey without hesitation. Kinky? Yeah. So kinky that DC eventually forgot about those powers in order to keep their comics innocent.

I'd also love to spank Wonder Woman, if I was as strong as Superman and thought I could actually get her to feel it. But you don't need a Lasso of Truth for me to say that I'd be perfectly happy letting her be the Head of my Household.

That probably over answers your question. But if I could only pick one to spank, it would be Azula, and if I could only pick one to be spanked by, it would be Diana.

Answering Anything - Serious

I'd like to thank regular commenter Kia Cera for her interesting questions that I'm looking forward to answering. I'll be answering the two more serious questions today and the wonderful silly question tomorrow. Because I really want to address this first question and give it it's do.

"Something serious: What motivates you to spank in a punishment situation? (As a sub, I find this intriguing as it seems to be a lot to ask when a spanker could easily just ignore it or move on to someone else rather than takoing a risk by stepping up and trying to help someone address a problem.)"

There are several motivating factors that go into punishing someone. One of the main reasons is that if me and a submissive are in a situation where I can spank them, I feel morally obligated TO spank them. It's a contract, whether written down or unspoken. If I say I will spank someone when they do things that I will not allow, then I can't back down on my word. It sends a message that I am inconsistent. My wife (or any other submissives I take for a Discipline relationship) will have hard limits placed on them that they will not be allowed to cross, and if they do they will be getting a spanking they won't want to remember.

I won't lie that anger is a motivating factor. And this isn't the little "stop annoying me, you're aggravating me" kind of anger. I consider myself to have a high level of tolerance and don't get mad at little things. But when I have a situation where I have to spank as a punishment, I am going to be angry and I will WANT to make my submissive suffer for their crime. Not because I'm cruel or anything, but just there is a distance there that can't be solved by other means. If for example, I catch my wife smoking cigarettes or find out she's stolen something, I have a right to be angry and punish her if we've agreed to a DD relationship. She's putting herself in danger and acting foolish, and I will do anything to get her to see the error of her ways.

Which really is the big reason that I would spank someone as a punishment: my sincere desire to help them. Just because I want to be in a Domestic Discipline situation does not mean that I want to punish my wife. I would honestly prefer that I never have to, and if I do, I will make the spanking an experience she will not want to live through again. I am just there to provide enforcement for her, helping her to become the best person she can be, for the benefit of everyone around her. I only want what's best for her.

The last motivating factor is that it really feels good to be a Top in a Domestic Discipline situation. To have someone who trusts you, loves you, and needs you in such a powerful way is an intoxicating, enthralling experience. It's a natural high. It gives a Top a sense of self-worth and personal accomplishment, a chance to see his impact on his partner in such a personal, positive way. Even if I never have to spank as a punishment, just her knowing that I will if I have to, and being grateful for it at the end of the day, is motivation enough.

 "Something completely off-topic: What is the greatest compliment you have ever received?"

This I can actually answer pretty easily. While talking things over with one of my Team Leaders at work, I made a mention that I was going to take a few days off in January to recharge my batteries after the Holiday season. I love my job but Christmas just drains all the joy out of it, so I had gotten in a place where I hated coming to work.

Rebekah answered by hoping that I enjoyed my time off, but that it didn't last too long. "We say that all Team Members are replaceable, but really that isn't always the case."

Now I know I do a good job at my work. I show up on time, I'm polite and always willing to help people, and I do my work pretty efficiently most of the time. But hearing that I was such a valued and respected member of my Team, from someone who really had no reason to tell me that other than to make my day, was easily the best compliment I've ever gotten.

Please understand that I have had issues with my self-worth for a lifetime. Part of that stems from my biological father leaving my mother and never wanting me over. Another big part is that my Aspergers syndrome once led my Special Ed teacher at school to say that I would never function in a real world environment and would always be an outcast. Spending the last twelve years or so of my life in a revolving door of "friend zones" didn't exactly help me reach the conclusion that I was anything special either. When I couldn't get a job and slacked off in college which ended up costing me my loans (which I'm now paying for) and kept me from finishing my associate's degree, I was pretty much rock bottom from a self-esteem standpoint.

Getting my new job was the biggest blessing I could ask for. It gave me a reason to get up in the morning, a sense of purpose and something to strive to be excellent at. It wasn't always easy and I still have plenty to learn, but I think it's safe to say that my Team genuinely views me as excellent now.

And that's all the affirmation I've ever really needed.

Ask Me Anything

I've been browsing a few other blogs lately and it seems I missed the memo on March being "Ask Me Anything" month in the blogging community. Well, I'm fairly new and really open about things, so I figured, what the heck, let's see if anyone has anything they'd like to ask me about.

So, any burning questions? Silly questions? Feel free to ask them here of course, but also any time. They don't even have to be spanking related, although it certainly helps.

This weeks gonna be a heck of a week at my store, as Easter is always extremely busy for reasons I can't figure out. So I will be doing my best to Keep Calm and Think of Spanking, but hopefully you guys will give me questions to think about!

And just because I found it funny...

Valjean and Javert: A Contrast of Faith

Over the last week or so I've posted quite a few blogs that are about spanking, but very little about Christianity. Part of that is in deference to anyone reading who does not share my religious views, as I hope that I occasionally reach out to a wider audience. The idea behind Christian Spanking Fellowship was always to be an open and affirming blog that welcomes everyone, regardless of religious belief, sexual orientation or whatever else. I believe it's my duty as a believer in Christ to share His love with everyone, to give them a safe haven from the judgment and hopefully help them accept who they are and grow into the people God made them to be.

So, while reminding everyone that I am totally accepting of your beliefs and hope you enjoy the blog anyway, I am going to make an effort to set aside Sunday for more faith-oriented posts. Which is not to say that spanking won't be involved, just that it won't necessarily be the focus of my Sunday posts. I hope this pleases most of you.

Recently I purchased and watched Les Miserables on Blu-Ray. While I know the movie wasn't a hit with everyone, it would have had to have been a failure of spectacular proportions for me not to love it. I am a fan of good music, an admirer of Hugh Jackman and Anne Hathaway, and have had a fondness for Victor Hugo's works ever since I first saw the Disney version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. This movie might as well have been made for me.

To me the most fascinating dynamic in the film is the relationship between the two male leads. Jean Valjean is a man condemned to a life marked as a "dangerous man" for the petty crime of stealing bread, and Javert is a dedicated servant of the corrupt French king, keeping and enforcing the laws he believes in. Both men are shown throughout the film to have a strong faith in God and petition Him to help in their causes.

Javert is a man who sees himself as a saint bringing sinners to justice, and while he is cruel, we get to see glimpses that he is essentially a good man. When he places his badge of honor on the young boy who dies standing up for what he believes in, we see that Javert is hardly heartless. He just places his faith in the letter of the law, and his morality is very black and white. He believes that people are either good or they are hopelessly evil and beyond reform, and the Lord rewards people accordingly. That is why he is rocked to his core when presented with Jean Valjean, a truly good man who was once a thief.

Jean's character is presented early on as man who hates the world, and feels justified in that because he has been wrongly placed in prison for nineteen years for stealing a loaf of bread for his starving family. When he is finally released, he has a lifetime of parole and papers that prevent him from finding any honest work or even the ability to sleep in an end. He is harassed and attacked by everyone from police to children, but ultimately has his turning point when he is shown unconditional love and acceptance by a priest. Even when Jean steals from him in desperation, the priest does not turn him over to the police, but gives him even more in the hopes that he will become an honest man of God.

While Valjean reconciles his soul with God fairly early on and never looks back, we see Javert's faith slowly unravel as he relentlessly pursues the man who who violated his parole. In spite of the years in prison and being chased by Javert, Valjean shows him nothing but mercy, contrition and even submission to his authority, only avoiding arrest to aid the suffering of others. Javert is in such denial that Valjean can possibly be good that by the end of the story, he commits suicide. The world he believed in was shattered and he could no longer live in it.

I find both men very easy to relate to. Ever since giving my soul to Christ in my ten years, I've had difficulty dealing with my sinful nature. At times I am like Javert, clinging to the letter of the Law and attempting to purge myself of all wrong doing, and refusing to believe that I can be both a saint and a sinner. More often, I am Valjean, a man who believes in God's forgiveness but has heard so many times that what I do and feel is wrong that I sometimes believe I am beyond forgiveness. Like Valjean, I eventually came to terms with my past faults and have found peace by loving others.

"To love another person is to see the face of God."

Very few movies are willing to so blatantly support faith in this day and age, while also giving serious thought to the questions that believers ask themselves. Les Miserables is a triumph of the human spirit, but it is also a demonstration that while a life devoted to God can be filled with suffering, there is a greater plan at work, and love will always persevere.

Kill Me Kate

I'd like to apologize for being quiet for the last two days. I've had a nasty bout with the flu and had trouble getting out of bed, much less trying to force myself to write.

In general, I find that I'm much more open about being a spankophile than most of my kindred spirits. I don't paste the word to forehead or anything, but I'm not afraid to make jokes at my expense or send my friends to the corner. Most of my closest friends know, and while they don't always understand, I've only ever had one that wasn't supportive.

I think part of the reason for that is become I'm younger than most of the bloggers than I've read for the better part of ten years, and my peers are generally more accepting of people's differences than a lot of past generations. Not all of course, but I think my generation as a whole is much more liberally minded than our parents. Speaking of them, as long as THEY don't know, I'm okay with anyone else knowing. It's part of who I am and I don't feel ashamed about it.

The only reason I don't come out to my parents is that I overheard a conversation that they had with my younger brother. When I was about 14, I didn't know how to thoroughly delete browsing history, and when my Mom found a slew of spanking (and especially DD websites) sites on her computer, she was livid. As the only one of my brothers who spent his Wednesdays at Church with my Youth Group, I was the last person she suspected, and she immediately accused my younger brother, who already knew about my interest in spanking. My Mom went on a lengthy tirade about how it was wrong and abusive, and I almost broke down and admitted it right there, which probably would have landed me in therapy.

Now, please understand that my mother has a history of partner abuse. When you've been beaten with a belt by your boyfriend without your consent, it's hard to imagine how anyone could consent to and enjoy being punished. I think when you see sites that have men in the dominant role, you kind of get scared that your sons will be abusive and dangerous. So I don't blame her for her views, but it also means I can never open up to her about it. Which hurts, honestly.

My brother took the heat for it, something that I don't think I'll ever be able to repay him for. Since then, I've learned to be much more careful about when and where I browse sites.

Every once in a while though, something happens where I almost fear I'm gonna get outed just by how I react to anything spanking related. Probably the most memorable, and most horrifying for me, happened when my Mom took me to the theater to see the stage production of "Kiss Me, Kate", which I knew absolutely nothing about. For those of you who DO know about it, you probably know exactly where this is headed.

I am relatively certain playing the leads in "Kiss Me Kate" is about the only occasion where a man could spank a grown woman "against her will" in public, in front of hundreds of presumably vanilla people, and have every single one of them cheer and clap for it. Everyone that is, except my Mom, who shook her head and rolled her eyes, and me, who was so beet red in the face and so recoiled in my chair from the shock of seeing a spanking on stage that I feared she would notice and my life would be ruined.

Once I survived that ordeal, I figured everything would be okay. One spanking, she didn't notice, it wouldn't be a problem again.

Boy was I ever wrong.

The entire second act is FILLED with jokes referring back to the spanking. The actress has trouble sitting down. The man who spanked her threatens to do it again. There's a big argument. It goes on and on and ON.

Kill Me Kate.

Of course, once I got home to the safety of my bedroom and my personal laptop, I scoured the internet for as many versions of the Kiss Me Kate spanking as I could find. But I don't think I'll ever, ever be able to survive another showing of it while seated next to my mother.

Daddy Issues

Please note that this is a rather long post on the subject of Parent/Child roleplay. It is not about the spanking of actual kids, but about consenting partners who want to act like children in a spanking game. If this sort of thing offends you, please move onto another post. =)

When I first got into the RP Scene and attached to a couple of regular partners, the dynamics of our characters were almost always that of a parent and child. I would be the loving but firm Father, and they would be my bratty daughter. Usually she would be a teenager in serious need of an attitude adjustment, but we were not afraid to play with younger characters. I would always tone down the spankings for younger children. It took me a while to really adjust to this sort of play, because it did get me excited and it's weird feeling that way about kids, even imaginary ones.

As I've matured and gotten to know myself a bit better, I've come to realize that my spanking desires are not 100% tied in with my sexual desires. Yes, they connect, but I enjoy a spanking for the sake of a spanking and especially the cuddling and emotionally connecting that happens afterward. As it turns out, being a "Daddy" in an RP helps me to separate the two more clearly. And I've also learned to enjoy being Daddy when I'm not spanking my playmates. It's fun getting to spoil them with ice cream or trips to the zoo or finally getting that toy they've been asking me for.

I know that Age Play is a rather prevalent trend in the spanking scene, but I never really thought it would what I was into most. But honestly, when I take a look at myself, it makes sense.

My biological father was barely a part of my life when I grew up, and I resented him for it. While my mom would later marry a man that I came to know as my Dad, I still have "Daddy Issues" and probably always will. My dream from an early age was to be the kind of Dad that my father wasn't, who was there for his kids and always got to be a hero and not someone who abandoned them.

I've realized that RPing as a Daddy gives me a chance to live that out, to be the Dad I want to be but can't be yet. Now yes, obviously I don't plan to make punishment such a big focus as it is when I play, but that's what the play is for. Getting to be comforting and guiding, spoiling someone and bonding with them is more like awesome fringe benefits. And I just enjoy being warm and protective and laughing with my partners rather than being a bossy Dom all the time, so it works out better.

I hope that one day I'll get to be a real father, and I expect that at that point my desire for the role play will die down a little bit. But let's face it. When you're spanking your partner, sending them to your room, making them stand in the corner, washing their mouth out with soap...you are treating them like a child. So you might as well remove pretense.

I know there are plenty of girls out there who like the idea of getting spanked by a father figure, so I'm sure I'll find a girl who shares my interest. Until then, I'm glad I get to my the surrogate Daddy for some of my friends who desperately need some fatherly attention.

Bust Out Your Swim Wear....

...because it's Spring Break! And even if you don't get a week off from your job or your life, you can still at least act like it and have some fun. Grab your bikinis, swimming trunks and bathing suits, and hook up with your partner for some Spring Break Spanking fun!

Always remember that variety is the spice of life, and that certainly applies to spanking. One easy way to do that is to change up your attire often. You never know what you and your partner will like most.

Get creative about it! Do you enjoy having a "reason" to be spanked? Buy a new suit without telling your partner, and then get spanked for it! Or, wear something a little too revealing. Little bikinis are a great way to be spanked for being too sexy. Conversely, if you like Parent/Child Role Play, inappropriate swim wear is sure to rile up any spank happy "Daddys" out there.

If you're bold enough, go outside to your pool for your spanking to really make things authentic. If you're afraid of neighbors seeing or overhearing you, wait until night or use the shower for some privacy while keeping the water element intact.

Did you ever do anything naughty on your Spring Breaks? Regale your partner with stories of your misbehavior while laying over the lap, but at your own risk!

 These are just a few idea for Spring Break traditions. Learn to celebrate the little things with a good spanking. If you've run out of ideas for a spanking, take a look at your calender and see what inspires you!

.....

Sorry about the short and simple blog post today, as my mind has been preoccupied with my brother's surgery. Everything seems to have gone off as well as could be expected, but we'll see if it actually accomplished something. To anyone who prayed for him, you have my gratitude.

Self-Discipline (And a Prayer Request)

Something I haven't mentioned lately is that I'm just starting my bi-annual attempt to quit drinking soda. To put perspective on this, I have been known to drink an entire twelve pack of Dr. Pepper if left to my own devices. The first week was okay, as Gatorade helps me cope with wanting sugar on my mouth. I know soon enough the caffeine headaches are going to kick in and I'm going to be Mr. Grumpy Pants for a few days before my body adjusts.

I had my first real test today as I passed the Pepsi One-Liters in my store. I was so, so tempted to buy one, to feel that fizz on my tongue and the relaxation of caffeine calming my nerves. I know in the grand scheme of things a caffeine addiction is hardly the worst thing in the world. But it matters to me because it's something that controls me. I have to control it, and not the other way around.

It's part of being self-disciplined.

Self-discipline is not something I've always been very good at. But as I've gradually realized that I identify as a DD Top, it's become very important to me. To me, you cannot be a Head of Household and be responsible for the discipline of your partner unless you are disciplined yourself. You cannot be a lazy, undisciplined Head of Household. It's just not okay. You are trying to be responsible for making a person's life better, and you need to lead by example.

And this isn't just a "Top" thing. I believe in the Bible's standard of a husband as someone who should be the spiritual leader of his family, and be accountable to God for it. Not because I don't think the woman I marry won't be capable, but it's a matter of principle. When two people come together with a common goal, it's a lot easier to accomplish than if only one is committed, or if you're competing against each other. So I have to take care of myself, physically, emotionally, spiritually.

Nobody's perfect of course. We all fall short of the glory of God, and all that jazz. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to be the very best person you can be. It doesn't excuse you from trying to self-improve. It makes for a better you, and it makes for a better relationship with the people you interact with. Especially your partner.

I've been taking small steps to improve myself over the last few weeks, and part of it has been this blog. Because the fact is, this blog makes me accountable to people, something I haven't had in a long time. I have to seriously think about who I am as a person, as a spanko, as a Christian. And that's important to me. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I'm being honest with myself.

So if you see me write little blurbs about what I am doing to structure my life more and create a better me, please bare with me. I'm making myself better, so that I can be the best me I can be. And so that when I meet this girl, she's going to meet a better me than I am today, something who's worthy of taking her by the hand and guiding her through our life together.

On a completely unrelated topic, I would greatly appreciate prayers for my younger brother, who will be going under the knife tomorrow for cranial surgery. We trust the doctors and are hopeful for the best, but it's a scary thing for all of us. So if you can spare a moment, just keep him in your thoughts. Thank you for your time, and God bless.

Perks of Working in Retail

So normally I would compose a blog post in the form of well-thought out paragraphs to convey the general idea of what I want to talk about. I tend to think of myself as at least semi-intelligent, but every once in a while things are just so incredibly awesome that words fail me and I turn into a blithering idiot who can barely form complete sentences.

Yes, for you ladies out there, that's a symptom of being male.

So what's got me all in a tizzy?

These.

 

These exist.

I pass by them almost every day at my job and am tempted to buy all of them so then when I DO get a girlfriend, I'll have her size. And then she can get a great many spankings while wearing them.

Why you ask?

Look at them. They are majestic.

Adult panties made to look like children's design panties. With superheroes. RETRO Superheroes.

Keep your lingerie. THIS IS THE NEW SEXY. XD

"I Need A Hero" they say.

"I Need a Girlfriend" I say.

Seriously, some sweet beautiful girl somewhere needs to get spanked in these. And post pictures.

And I'm out.

 

....

.......

*face palm*

Okay. Anyone out there got a crush? Want to make them more than your crush? 

1. Go buy these awesome panties.
2. Go find your crush.
3. Hold up these panties and say "I will wear these if you go out with me."

Instant relationship!

*Stay tuned for your regularly scheduled thoughtful post to be posted some time today!*

God bless everyone, and happy spanking!
 

Keep Calm and Think of Spanking

This weekend has been an exercise in patience for me. For context on this post (and I'm sure ones to follow), I currently work in retail, though I shall be mum as to what store and where just for privacy's sake. I actually love my job there as the people I work with are some of the nicest and most dependable I've met in my life. I'd even call several of them good "friends" and not just co-workers. And for the most part, my guests don't get on my nerves too often.

This week is an exception. The weather is beautiful in Kansas and it is SPRING BREAK, which means there's a ton of bored teenagers and even more noisy, undisciplined children following their only slightly less noisy and probably LESS disciplined parents around. Which means we get a big mess all over the store.

When I say "a big mess", I mean that if Jackson Pollack painted "Godzilla Destroying Tokyo", it would be less of a mess than my store was this weekend.

Now, I don't mind busy. I really don't. I like making money and I like having things to do. I just wish that people were polite and picked up after themselves and watched their kids. It's not that difficult to do. I come from a family of six kids, and let me tell you, my parents had us on a nice, polite leash and they never had to resort to yelling or threatening us. If we put a toe out of line, one look was all it took.

So, just in case my future wife happens to be reading this, I'm giving you fair warning. When we go shopping, you're going to be putting shoes back in the box and in the spot they go in. You're going to be folding clothes the way they should be folded and in the spot they go in. You're going to throw drinks and food boxes in the trashcans and not leave them on the shelves. And if you decide you don't want something, we're leaving it in our cart and giving it to the cashiers so they can put it up later, and not have their store look like a pig sty.

And if you don't, you're gonna have a sore, red bottom when we get home. Count on it.

Speaking of spanking, I don't know how I'd get through days like this if I wasn't a spanko. I'm sure I'd find some way to cope, of course. But what I know is that when I get stressed at my guests and want to yell at them, I take a deep breath and follow my simple rule.

"Keep calm and think of spanking."

Spanking is a major source of stress relief for a lot of spankos. As a Top, spanking is how I get out all of the frustration and stress of my day-to-day out in a healthy, positive way that my friends, and one day my spouse, can enjoy. It allows me to vent and relax. And just thinking about that helps me to keep my temper under control.

I also think about Subbing when I need to calm down, which is one of the few times I think about me Subbing in a positive light. There's something to be said for the fantasy of letting someone else worry about everything for me, and all I have to do is get spanked. I'm sure you've probably read that on a hundred blog posts already, but there's a reason for it. Spanking relieves stress in a fun, intimate way.

So yeah. KCATOS. Keep Calm and Think of Spanking. It'll save your life. Expect to see this acronym pop up in future blogs, as I've fallen in love with it.

Spank Goggles

Confession time: I'm a huge nerd when it comes to anything action packed and full of character. I have a rather long list of favorites. James Bond, Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Legend of Zelda. But my comfort area is comic books and superheroes. As someone who doesn't have a lot of vices, most of my spare money is spent on comics. I could make a rather large list of characters I religiously follow, but suffice to say that if it's a major hero and he's not Spider-Man, I buy at least one of their comics.

If you don't really live the geek lifestyle, one thing you need to understand about fans is that we all, to some degree or another, participate in "shipping". As in relation-shipping. Typically, it's about rooting for a particular couple to get together and have a successful romance. If it sounds weird, just remember that the people who write the books and movies and TV series you watch WANT you to "ship" the characters, to be emotionally invested in their romance. It's just that a lot of us tend to think that the characters should be partnered with other characters and not the ones the writers intend.

Or, put in the layman's terms: Team Edward vs. Team Jacob. Personally, I'm on Team Edward Dates Jacob because Bella Swan is a terrible character and it would be more interesting if the werewolf and vampire had to cope with their homosexuality and the fact that their two species hate each other. But I digress....

Anyway, whenever fans watch shows or movies or read books deliberately looking for evidence that a particular pairing would work, it's called "Wearing your Shipping Goggles". So, if I read Superman and whine about how he's currently dating Wonder Woman and not Lois Lane, it's because I've got my shipping goggles on. I'm emotionally invested in Clark and Lois (and Diana as a separate character) and don't want things to get in the way of that.

But the reality is, I don't wear my shipping goggles too much. Mostly I'm wearing my Spank Goggles. Whenever a watch any show and a character is bratting or acting especially Toppy, my spank goggles go on. Every great once in a while, the spankings actually happen (like on Weeds). But most of the time they are just playing in my head as a separate scene that I may write at a later date.

Yes, I write fanfiction sometimes. Spank me.

Going back to Superman, I've just finished reading the storyline "H'El on Earth", the first major crossover of the Superman, Superboy and Supergirl comics since DC relaunched their franchise in late 2011. Despite the cheesy name, it's been a blast seeing these characters meet for the first time (again) and see how their vastly different life experiences affect their motivation when H'El comes to Earth and plans to absorb the energy of the sun to power a time machine so that he can save Krypton from ever exploding.

Kara Zor El, better known to everyone else as Supergirl, has only recently awoken on Earth and still vividly remembers growing up on Krypton with her family, and would do anything to be back with them. So when H'El offers her to take part in his plan (while lying about the effects his machine will have on the people of Earth), she takes him up on her offer. You're sad for her, but you can totally understand her feelings and motivations.

But the most prevalent thought I had during all this?

If you guessed, "Superman totally needs to give Kara a good spanking when this is all said and done!" you guessed correctly.

My Spank Goggles are probably never off, which can create some awkward moments if I'm not careful. Anyone else wearing their spectacles on a daily basis?

"Thank You Mr. Dobson"

There are several negatives about growing up in a conservative Christian family in the Bible Belt. While my parents were hardly prudes, my grandparents (on my mother's side, who I spent most of my time growing up with) are very traditional and too set in their ways to see things differently. It's a minor fault at worst, and I love them dearly. But it can be frustrating would for me when I hear them condemn people for being gay or be paranoid about our "Muslim President" (he isn't, but a person's faith or lack thereof is hardly grounds to be a good political executive). For someone who is as progressive and inclusive as I try to be, it becomes incredibly difficult to bite my tongue. I do so by reminding myself that they won't be here forever, and at this point it's not worth ruining my relationship with them to risk helping them see my side of things.

That was probably a little more serious of an introduction for this post than I intended it to be.

However, there is certainly one benefit of growing up in a conservative Christian family if you're say, a teenage spanko who knows there's no way you're going to smuggle porn into the house because you're a terrible liar. Not that I know anyone like that.... (=0

My grandparents have an enormous bookshelf downstairs that is full to overflowing. When I was very young, I spent my time pouring over the encyclopedias looking up information on as many different animals as I could, especially whales and big cats. But when I got older, the most interesting books were the ones centered about Christian parenting. And there were a lot.

I didn't read the books because I was learning how to be a good parent, although I'm sure I did pick up a few things about love and patience along the way. But it was mostly because a few decades ago, not so far away, it wasn't nearly as controversial for parenting experts to endorse spankings. And boy did these old men endorse them. In fact, there were often entire chapters devoted to the subject. Obviously, their intended purpose is not something I want to discuss on this blog. But you can imagine what it was like for a young man like me to have such vivid descriptions of my interest defined in the books. I'm sure my grandparents would be mortified to know that their parenting books did more to kindle my sexuality than the typical reading material for guys my age.

As I look back on this, I realize the books probably instilled a love of Father/Daughter role play in me. I am a shameless online role player, an interest that led me to meeting some of my dearest friends, spanko or not. And while some of our RP is romance, most of my platonic gal pals are looking for an outlet to live out their discipline fantasies. It usually starts with a school setting as I think we're squeamish about admitting we want to do the parent/children thing in our play. But it always ends up as that. I honestly have to admit that it's lovely to play like that because it actually separates spanking from sex, allowing me to focus on the former without obsessing over the later.

I wouldn't give a whole lot of the spanking advice in those books to my friends for any purpose, but there was one line that always stuck with me, and I think came a long way in defining what exactly I desire in my spanking relationships.

"A spanking is an event."

How true is that? There is a world of difference between the occasional swat or two (which are always nice) and a real, honest to goodness spanking. A spanking requires you to make time and a place to spend quality, very personal time with the person getting spanked. For the Submissive, it's something that's going to put them through a wide range of emotions and a lot of pain, something to remember for a long time. There is a certain ritual to even the most random, spur of the moment spankings. Putting them in position, the scolding, the removal of clothing, perhaps a time out in the corner. And most importantly, the tight cuddling and soft-spoken words of love spoken afterwards.

I suppose a spanking doesn't have to be an event. I'm sure there are thousands of people who read Fifty Shades of Grey and will probably never do more than a few light smacks before sex. There's nothing wrong with that, obviously. But I think most of us spankos would have very empty lives if spankings weren't "events". We want them to be well worth remembering

....I think I had a goal or point in mind when I decided to write this post, but it's probably just some rambling. All I know is, while many of us find our definition of spanking in a dictionary as a kid, I found it in those dozens of Christian parenting books that so vividly described the process.

So yeah, thank you James Dobson. You helped create at least one sexual deviant, and I'm eternally in your gratitude. /sarcasm

Love for Leah Kelley

Does anyone else like to read spanking fiction? I know I do!

Check out Leah Kelly's blogs here, where you can find links to her library of books based on Christian Domestic Discipline. Some are fun, some are educational, but I'm sure you'll find something that interests you.

http://leah-kelley.blogspot.com/

Cherished

This is probably my favorite word in the English language.

If one word describes my reasons for being a Top and my goals as a Top, it's that one. My goal is to make the women I spank feel absolutely cherished, as if they could not possibly be loved any more than I love them at that very moment. Those are the feelings I want to create.

It takes many forms, depending on the relationship and nature of the spanking. If it's discipline, I want the young lady to realize that I care too much about her to let her act the way she does. But I also want her to feel forgiven as I hold her tight and shush her cries. As she calms down, I want her to feel a sense of safety, to know that I will do anything to protect her, even if sometimes I have to protect her from herself.

I want her to feel cherished.

If the spanking is less serious and more sexual in nature, I want the woman I spank to know that she is the most beautiful, most wonderful woman on the planet in my eyes. Whether it's a drawn-out, romantic night of lovemaking to show her how totally in love I am with her, or a lust-filled quickie that affirms that I can't get enough of her body, I want her to feel absolutely special.

I want her to feel cherished.

Spanking is many things. Its fun, its sexy, its naughty. Its serious, its painful, its draining. Its loving and its correcting. Its comforting and healing, and its punishing and humiliating. It breaks you down and builds you back up again. There is yelling and scolding, there is spanking and crying, and there is hugging and laughing. It's so difficult to imagine anything that make humans run the emotional gamut in such a short length of time.

But in the end, spanking someone is about showing them how deeply you love them. It affirms the things about your relationship that a Submissive needs to know the most. It tells them who they are.

Sometimes naughty, but always forgiven.

Incredibly beautiful and impossibly wonderful.

Loved and desired.

Cherished.

Why I'm a Switch, and Why I Try Not to Be

If you read my testimony "How God Made Me" (which you can read here if you haven't), you might recall that while I identify as a Top, I do admit to being a Switch. In fact, until the last year or so of my life I would mostly refer to myself as a Switch, someone who loves spanking and being spanked equally.

That isn't entirely the case. I've come to realize that a lot of my desire to be spanked comes from a rather dark place in my heart. When I feel submissive, it's because I'm feeling beat up by the world, worthless and unlovable. When I get in that place, I can become a very attention-starved brat of a young man, and that's really just what I'm going for.

When I feel like that, I want somebody, anybody really, to spank me and tell me how foolish and self destructive I'm being. In this case, I want somebody to ACTUALLY beat me up and give me a reason to cry, because the tough, calm, cool and collected man I usually am can't bring himself to let the waterworks flow just because of emotional problems. More importantly, I want to be scolded and spanked because if that happens, I know somebody cares about me, that I am loved. And if somebody loves me, then hey, I must not be totally worthless.

On one hand, I like that I can cope with my occasional depressed, "The World Hates Me" bouts of self-pity just by longing for a serious attitude adjustment. I think the fact that I can channel my feelings in the form of a spanking helps me cope a lot better than most people. On the other hand, the real truth I have to admit is that when I feel like Subbing, I'm in a place that I don't want to be and probably shouldn't be.

I don't know how common these feelings are amongst Subs, and I certainly don't want to guilt trip anyone whose natural state of being is being a Submissive. But I do think, at least to some degree, that masochistic tendencies amongst Christian spankos is a reflection of how we relate to God. We feel dirty and unlovable because we fall short of the standards our Lord sets for us, and sometimes we need to be beat over the head (or our bottoms) to remember that hey, we're loved no matter what we do.

On the reverse side of things, I am at my very best when I'm Topping for someone. Topping gives me a sense of strength and self-worth that I don't always feel all the time. The need to be there for someone, to help take care of them and steer them in the right direction, that's the sort of thing that makes me happy. When I'm Topping, I can walk tall and proud and no force on earth can drag me down.

So here's the thing. I am a Switch. Sometimes I want to be spanked, and it's a powerful urge, a need that's as far away from a kink as you can get. When I want a spanking, it's for disciplinary purposes, because I'm acting like a brat and need a fire lit under my butt to get my act together. I don't hate myself for that, but I think it's a good idea for me to make it a goal not to feel those feelings very often.

Because I'd rather not be depressed and angry at myself and the world. When I'm at my best, I have a lot to offer this world. Without bragging, I know the world benefits a lot more from my compassion, my insight and my unconditional love than it benefits from brooding and self-loathing.

So here's to Topping. Because when I spank, I'm happy, and that's the most important thing for me. =)

Bible Devotionals: A Chance to Bond as a Christian Spanking Couple

I think I can speak for the majority of Christian's when I say I could probably stand to read my Bible a little more often than I do. God's Word is a wonderful source of comfort and inspiration and if you know where to look, just spending a few minutes diving into the Word and communing with God can give you the strength you need to get through your day.

Of course, it's not always easy to get around to sitting down and reading the Bible. I'll spare you the reasons and let you take a theology class. Instead, I'm here to talk about how being in a spanking relationship can be a huge advantage when it comes to getting down to devotionals.

You've probably already found that devotionals are easier to do with your partner, as you have someone to keep you accountable and to discuss what you are reading. But the next time you do a devotional, add a spanking twist to it. Have the Submissive partner lay over your lap and read.

From here, the result tends to depend on your spanking style. If you're in a Domestic Discipline relationship, have the spankee read, and any fighting or giving up early results in a spanking. Or, if this is more applicable, make a rule that you can't start spanking until after your devotional is done. Whatever suits you best.

Spanking and Bible Devotionals are both very intimate experiences that allow couples to communicate and grow together. One is good, but put them together and you can have a wonderful time.

And trust me, after a few days to get into this habit, you'll wonder why you hadn't been doing it earlier.

A Comprehensive Look at the Catholic Schoolgirl Outfit

In the process of discovering your identity as a spanko, you are likely to find that you develop associated kinks along the way. For me, as a Top, I've realized that what a woman wears can have a huge effect on my desire to spank them, and my overall enjoyment of the spanking experience. Though single, I am an unashamed role player (something I will discuss at length in a future post), and trust me, me and my playmates spend at least as much time talking about what a young lady is wearing as we do about her betting her rump roasted.

Now, you're probably thinking, "Oh, Aaron is a typical male and likes his women in the skimpiest, sexiest panties imaginable. Why is he even bothering with a post about what women wear for a spanking?"

There's certainly nothing wrong with lacy lingerie and skimpy panties. And for many men, perhaps that is what they prefer their partners to be wearing. But for me, this kind of underwear is way too associated with sex for me to enjoy spanking a girl who's wearing them. Some of you may be tilting your heads at that, but I think some of you will definitely understand that while spanking is sexy and often leads to sex, it's an entirely different experience.

So, what is that I like my spanking partners to be wearing? The answer is simple: I want them to appear as much like a naughty little girl as possible. For me, this is a combination of the clothes a woman wears and her overall attitude. I want to spank a woman who appears to be as childish as possible. The attitude is something to save for a later post, but for now, I want to talk about the pervy potential of clothes.

Since the Catholic Schoolgirl uniform is a common fetish (and definitely one of my favorites), let me use it to illustrate the principles that make it so appealing, for future reference when I discuss other outfits I enjoy.

I am extremely picky about my schoolgirl uniforms. There is a science involved in creating a uniform that is both visually pleasing and contributes to the character of a naughty schoolgirl. If you look up "schoolgirls" online, you are going to be bombarded with images of of women in skirts that are way too short and shirts that either too small or tied up to reveal a girl's midriff. While wearing these outfits would certainly put a young lady in the principal's office, I think it shows an overall misunderstanding of the fetish.

I like the schoolgirl look because it is cute, innocent, and adorable. The flannel skirts (usually red or blue) provide an appealing visual design that is about as far away from lacy lingerie as possible. I also prefer shirts that cover most but not all of the arms, and always the midriff. Preferably, the shirt should be tucked in the skirt. This gives the uniform an amount of formality that implies order and rules, which of course, must be enforced. And by covering the woman's body, it implies an innocence that must be protected and not a body that should be lusted after.

While it's not actually clothes, I want to draw attention to the pigtail look. Girlish pigtails and ponytails are particular favorite hairdos of mine because they are both very flirty but also give a girl the appearance of youth and immaturity. Not stupidity, but more like an innate silliness that is very appealing. Now let's take a look at the rest of the classic uniform...

First, I want to draw attention to her socks and shoes. Personally, I'm a huge fan of a woman in socks or stockings no matter the reason. But high socks are especially important in the schoolgirl and similar looks because they help cover the parts of the legs that aren't covered by the skirt. While some exposed leg is definitely desirable, when it comes to skirts and socks, women actually become sexier the less skin they are showing. The shoes are more just to complete the formality of the look, one of those extra doodads that add character, such as a tie, glasses, or props such as a pencil or a bookbag.

While I discussed the skirt earlier, this picture illustrates another handy thing about skirts, especially loose ones: They are incredibly easy for the spanker to remove from the target area when they want to, something that can prove problematic with pants that often need to be unbuttoned first. For a fast paced spanking that you don't have to think about too much, wearing a skirt is more than ideal and provides a lovely visual for your partner.

 Finally, take a look at this lovely girl's panties. They cover everything that a schoolgirl's panties SHOULD be covering. Once again, panties like this contribute to the innocence of the look that is so appealing to me (and I'm sure to others). Another advantage of this is since the panties cover the girl's bottom, the lucky spanker will get to experience a lovely view when they are pulled down for the bare bottom conclusion. Trust me, the change from seeing small area of rosy cheeks under a girl's panties to the full bottom is an absolute delight for a spanker.

You may be wondering why I've chosen to discuss this look in such detail. The reason is because the look is such a universal fetish for men in general (but especially tops) and there are a few reasons why.

• It conveys a sense of youth and innocence that we find endearing and fun. For spankers in particular, it helps us view our partner as a naughty little girl in need of a good spanking.
• It creates a complete character that lends itself to a narrative that is especially fun for us to play, especially if a spanking is involved.
• It reveals just enough skin to be titillating without overwhelming a man with so much skin that we want to skip all the foreplay. As the spanking narrative plays out, the uniform provides several lovely visuals for us, and by the end, it is a very revealing outfit that looks dead sexy. Especially when the young lady has a nice new coat of red covering her cheeks

While I certainly don't want to discourage you from wearing lacy lingerie, I want to open your eyes to the possibilities. If you're a woman who likes to be spanked, your partner is probably just as attracted to the cuteness and innocence you can convey with outfits like the schoolgirl uniform as they are to your sultry, sensuous side. In my case, "cute" IS sexy.

I mean, come on. How could anybody resist spanking a girl as adorable as this one?

As an aside for you male subs out there, while there are obvious differences, a Catholic Schoolboy outfit has very similar effects. It portrays you as young and innocent, which allows your misbehavior to speak for itself and appear more childish. Anyone who enjoys spanking naughty boys can hardly say no to a schoolboy who's practically asking to be taken in hand.

Happy spanking!